Sun-rays were falling obliquely through the tall bottle-palm trees creating a kind of light and shadow pattern on the floor of the balcony in the after-noon. The street in front was slowly getting busy by passing cars and scooters of individuals probably returning home. Three children were playing with a red ball on the pavement of the other side. A small child from adjacent balcony of the same building was webbing his hand and smiling at me in the process of probable befriending. It is a Saturday after-noon and I am little breathing out at the balcony after some house-making at Sunil’s Mayo Road flat in retrospect, I was thinking about my life and future. Everything looks so bleak and blurred. I have been trapped in kind of relation that cannot have any social recognition. I am, anyhow not able to come out of this with fear of unknown implications and repercussions. I tried to speak to my parents for moral support but I personally feel that they are so innocent and ignorant about complications of modern human relations that actually they are not able to perceive my problem. I don’t know what am I heading for? Where do I go? Whom do I speak to? I also had dreams of making my own family like my parents but in the present situation under the current set up, it appears near impossible for me. I often think of evading away from this city; but it needs stand-off courage and conviction. Sunil sent me a SMS this morning with a request to come to his flat and help him in housekeeping. His so called friends decided to have drinks at his place this evening. His servant is away on leave and that’s why he needs my help. He often says that I am very sharing and caring like a good wife. I have lots of wifely material. I definitely suited for a good house-maker. Isn’t a pain to listen like this? Am I really so? I don’t know – I need to work out some-way some-day to prove it wrong when I came, it was around 2-30 pm. The flat looked awesome and devastatingly dirty. May be a weak or so no one has taken any care to keep and make things around the apartment. The floor was strewn with cigarette packets, wrappers, food packs and torn tobacco sachets used coffee cups and drink tumblers were lying on the side and dining tables. Spilling cigarette butts were falling out of the ashtrays. 2-3 used and dirty vests and briefs were lying on the dining chair along with bathing towel. It was real hell. I started cleaning up things without waiting for Sunil to arrive. I put the dirty clothes in the washing machine and put it on automatic dry mode. I took away the glasses and mugs to kitchen sink, cleaned and put back into the side board. I put all the trash in the bin and cleaned up the floor of the drawing room with vacuum cleaner. Kitchen was comparatively better; probably it was not much used except for making some coffee and break-fast. The bed room was equally bad. There were some used clothes and shirts on a bed-side chair creating stench and nuisance. I put them off inside the cup-board. Used condoms were lying below the bed; some dried up and some having sticky discharge trilling out of it staining the floor and creating typical smell. I collected them, wrapped in a plastic foil before finally disposing in to the trash bin. I cleaned up the bed; I don’t know who all used it for what all purposes. Why do I do all these for him? Is it that I don’t want to annoy him or that I wanted some caring return from him which I know I would never get! He will never give me any recognition nor do I want it. He will continue to use me till I am within his clutches. If I deny him, he will use his sweetened diplomatic way to convince me his needs or else he will threaten me to disclose my sexuality. He is very clever and manipulative. He thinks that he is so called male because he is penetrative; and all receptive are basically female and designed to be used as wives. He told me that he is getting married to one of his girl friend; practically few days back he even introduced me to her. I wonder if that girl comes to know about his activities. To me he said, ‘you would continue to be my private and secret wife forever and I don’t know how long was I lost in these kind of thoughts! Suddenly the door bell rang and I noticed that dusk had set in and it was already 6-30 pm. I opened the door to see that Sunil is back; immediately I made way for him to come in. I did not want to be near to him at all; however he came towards me, put his hand on my shoulder and thanked for cleaning up the place. He left his lap-top on the sofa and went inside the bed room saying that he needed freshening up and change of clothes, his friends are expected any moment. I went towards the dining space balcony to look out and pass time. Sunil called over asking me to choose a shirt and trouser for him. I told him to pick and choose one from the cup-board. He won’t buzz after a while he started asking for fresh inners as I had few of them washed and dried, I had no choice other than to go inside the bedroom to hand over the same. That time, he was undressing and giving provocative and luring smile towards me. I avoided looking at him but he told me to organise the changed clothes and put the used inners in the washing machine. I hesitated for a while to avoid any encounter till he moved to toilet. Once he was in, I kept the shirt and the trouser over a hanger inside the cup-board. As I was busy doing this, I found him peeping through the toilet door to see my doings. I think he enjoyed seeing me doing his personal work against my wish. I went to pick up the brief and the vest, the brief was showing large sticky fresh wet stain appearing to be more than usual pre-cum discharge probably indicating an after-course leak. I wondered at this hour of the day in an aristocratic office like his who could have been his sexual companion to provide him such kind of worldly pleasure. I was waiting outside in the drawing room; he came out fresh and fragranced. He asked me if I was not well or else I had bad mood, also enquired if I had spent anything that was needed there. He also told me to keep the coffee machine on so that his friends can be offered coffee on arrival. He had brought some prepared snacks which he started organising on plates. He took out ice cubes from the fridge to put them in the ice tumbler and kept few of the glasses ready on the side-board for serving drinks. His friends soon arrived. A medium height, slim and fair person named Sunny’ was on a shirt and trouser wearing sweet fragrance appearing to be very bright and jovial but more on the effeminate type. There were Reeta and Monika both very aristocratic and modern in Jeans and Tees. They hugged Sunil together at a time while coming in then, there were Rohit and Rohan both tall, fair and handsome. Lastly, there was Jeet generally a non-descript nothing special in look and appearance. Jeet was accompanied hand-in-hand with Rusty, good looking, fair in short skirt and blouse when they settled on the sofa I served coffee and cashew. There after I left the place and sat near the dining place balcony viewing TV. They were cutting jokes and bursting in to loud laughter artificially often they were nudging, poking and cooing each other. Little later, they were all drinking and passing sexually incriminating jokes. Suddenly Sunil got up and went to bed room in the excuse of washing hand. He was immediately followed by Reeta who even gently pulled the door to lock it. Both remained in the room for 15 minutes or so, then there was a beep in Monika’s cell; and she went to the bed room incidentally Reeta came out, went to wash basin mirror to do the make-up once she was back to her seat, laughing loudly and started describing naughty Sunil once the session with Monika was over, Sunny went and spent time with Sunil in closed door. I wondered what they had been up to in closed door; if anything like sex, how he can take all three of them in a row. Surprising they were all heavily drunk. It was 1000 pm and ordered dinner pizza came. They drank and ate; at 1100 pm they started moving one by one as they came. While they were departing and I quickly cleaned up the place and went to Sunil to say bye with all these evening activities. I felt he won’t force me unnecessarily but as I started going, he caught hold my hand and said, ‘How can you just go like that. I needed you in the night. Don’t leave me alone. You are my real friend. You owe even a good treat from me for all the help.’ I tried to free myself with force but he was stronger enough to subdue me. In the process he gave a jerk to make me fall on to his chest. He held me very tight, so tight that I needed extra efforts to breath. I said you hurting me. He didn’t listen but dumped me to the bed with a forceful shove. He started kissing me randomly and sucking my lips like mad. I felt my lips would shred apart. I was unable to get up and go away. He quickly took off my shirt and pressing hard on my breast. He was kneading my nipples hard to get pleasure out of my pain. I am just 51 kg and hardly have thin layer of soft tissue over my chest. I was in a kind of verge of crying in pain but I did not want to show that I am at his mercy. This went on for 7-8 minutes or so, he hurriedly pulled down my lower gear while I was writhing in pain and put his finger in my bottom in a sharp jerk. It pained so prickly that I actually cried out. Little later, he started rimming out my hole and then put both the index fingers to stretch it away it was awful! He said if you ever try to avoid me, I will cause you very hard pain suddenly I felt there was a clinch kind of feeling down below and a gush of watery discharge came out from my bottom. He laughed loudly and said, ‘Your lower mouth is watering to taste my canon. Be ready to take it now.’ He put his hot stick inside me like a sizzling iron rod and began pushing it hard inside forcefully without bothering for my discomfort. I felt being torn apart there was hot burning, fiery, blazing pain inside pushing me to the corner of death. I was unable to take it anymore but he won’t stop. I wish I were dead. I gave up and submitted; loosened up to allow him to kill me. No idea how long it continued! May be 10 minutes or so! He was holding me in half crutch position from the back passionately and continuously fucking me making a gurgling sound below there. Both of us were drenched in sweat from head to foot even in that cold air-conditioned room. His goatee balls were hitting my bum making a kind of flapping sound. I thought he was getting out of breath because of his vigorous action. I did not have much in mind to think at that point. I wanted to escape from this barbaric animalistic situation at that point something happened inside me. There was strong forceful contraction in my stomach probably trying to expel him out of my body with this I twisted my lower body involuntarily. This made his body stiff and taut hard, he started shuddering like a bouncy ride and began cuming inside me with hot scorching fluid shooting at all directions in enormous amount and volume. I remained quiet and being laid with Sunil on top of me. He was limp and exhausted; and rolled out from my back on to the bed after a little while. I felt deep and profound pain all over with his discharge dripping out of my anus in thin trail causing a sense of warm wetness in between my cheeks. I was out of my sense and logic and immediately went in to slumber there only. I got up with a sense of flickering of blue night lamp probably because of power cut and switch-over to UPS. The AC made some groggy sound, stopped for a while and again started working. Sunil was lying naked with his back facing roof still having fine sparkling beads of perspiration. His buttock and back muscles still appeared to be taut and shining. It was 4-15 am morning and I got up, put on my clothes, washed my face with water and left the flat pulling the door from outside to lock it. My whole body was paining, head was heavy and giddy; I was not able climb down the stairs because of aches and pain. Luckily the guard at the gate was asleep and did not notice me. I started walking out of the building complex and came to the main road. I needed to walk till Frazer’s Circle where from I can get an Auto to go to my place. Faint light of rising sun was coming out from behind the tall buildings at the eastern horizon. A promise of little ray of hope for escape came in my troubled mind a la if tomorrow comes.
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