The First Woman Of My Life
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She is my neighbor, I’ll call her seema. Beautiful, young, with pale skin tone; I just love that tone. That constant smile on her face, make her look adorable. But unfortunately, she was married to a hopeless, alcohol addict, an irresponsible and uneducated guy in an orthodox family. She had moved into my street just after one year of her marriage, apart from in-laws. She was 4 years elder to me, the enigma of belonging to the same generation got us into eye contact several time with a friendly smile. I was the only educated guy in my neighborhood, 25 years old and working in a startup. And this was the first thing she liked in me. As days passed by, her life was getting worst. Her husband used to return home late nights, high on alcohol, insulting her, thrashing her and blaming her for infertility. Yes, it has been 5 years and they didn’t have any kid. She was considered useless by her in-laws for not able conceive. One day, the late night fight between husband and wife got too loud and alarming. Everybody had come out on street. I couldn’t take it anymore and crashed into her house, saved her and asked the other neighbors to take the guy out and control him. She had got cuts and bruises on her hands and on her forehead. I and my uncle took her to the nearest hospital, it was difficult to get the treatment soon, since it was a police case. My uncle knew few social workers through which the treatment was done hassle free. Uncle was busy thanking the social worker and chit-chatting with them and asked me to take her back. When we reached back, it was all quit and cold, everybody had gone back to sleep, her husband also. She was too tired, lost in her thoughts. I made her sit on a chair and offered her a glass of water, she drank quickly. “thank you for everything,” she said. Tears rolling in her eyes. It was painful to watch such a happy face into tears. “that’s alright. Why don’t you talk to your parents about this?” she was quiet for a while. I asked her again, to which she started crying and wrapped her hands around my hip. “my dad is also an alcohol addict and my mother don’t want to listen to anything” I didn’t know what to tell, what to do. “my life is over, the soon I get used to all these beatings.., the better it is,” she said. I got angry. “how could educated women like you talk like this?” I said. She stopped crying and was quiet for a while. I was a bit uncomfortable, as no lady ever had held me like this. I had no intentions of anything, was just disturbed by the trouble she is been facing for five years. I bent on my knees and spoke to her for a while, motivated her to take legal actions and move on. As I was moving out she called me from behind. “I’m really scared, can’t sleep alone. Can you stay?” “don’t worry. I have locked the room door from outside.” I had locked the room door from outside in which her husband was sleeping. She tried getting up from the chair and screeched out of pain, she had a cut on her feet which we missed for treatment. “why didn’t you tell to doctor that you had got cut here even? Let me get boro line from my room.” “These cuts and pain are just physical and bearable, the pain what I have in my heart is unbearable. Do you have any ointment for that?” she said. Her words moved me. I couldn’t answer her question. I don’t know how that I just randomly hugged her. She did wrap her hands around me and gave a tight hug. I think she was badly in need of a hug, a shoulder to rest on, and someone to hear her problems at least. We did not move for two minutes until we heard my uncle returning back from the hospital. We quickly detached our self and I moved out. Spoke to uncle and he went back to sleep. Grabbed the ointment from the room, but didn’t have the courage to go back and give her. All this was new to me, a woman in my arms, consoling her when her husband is just in next room. “if I don’t give her this, she might suffer the whole night in pain.” I said to myself and moved out to give her. “no, please. Let me do it myself” she said, as I tried applying the ointment on her foot. “I’m just helping you,” I said. “I cannot allow a worthy man like you touch my feet. Don’t worry I’ll do it,” she said. I was quite embracing myself as someone first ever called me a man even though I was 25 years old. I have always heard people favoring me as a kid, boy, guy since I look very young I guess. She continued… “I did not expect you will come back to me” it was just me and her alone in a room. “if I would not have come here, you might have quietly bared the pain all night,” I said. “one man makes me suffer the pain all night and another couldn’t see me in pain even for a while,” she said. Our eyes locked for few seconds. We both grinned and I moved my sight away. “even though one woman has the ability to stand independent and move on. She won’t do it” counter reply by me. “I cannot explain. You will only understand when you are women from middle-class family” she said. She got emotional again, I could see tears rolling down. I wiped her tears as her hands were of ointment spread. She quickly grabbed my hand, held under her cheek and closed her eyes. I could feel her cold face over my warm palm. “I wish I wouldn’t have married to him.” “digging the past will only break you, not make you,” I said. She was brushing face on my palm. “I wish I had a man like you,” she said and kissed my palm softly. My heart beat started racing and I didn’t know how to react. “I’m sorry, my intention was not to hurt you” like an idiot I just randomly blurted out. She looked into my eyes and said. “there is nothing to be sorry about. Actually, I’m the one who is speaking a lot” “let it out. You will feel light. I’m here to listen.” I said. She quickly got up from the chair and gave a tight hug again. I could not balance and had to take the support of the table back to me. She was completely leaning on me, my one hand on the table and other grabbing her hip. There was awkward silence for a while, my heart beat was racing like a speedy train. “I think I must go. It’s too late, you should probably rest now” with great difficulty I spoke this time. “you said you are there for me to listen?” she said. “but you are not talking?” I blurted out. “I don’t want to talk. I just want to rest like this for a while, I feel safe and secure in your arms” I could feel her whole body against me. “what? Does she want to sleep like this? I cannot bend like this for the whole night. Oh god help me out” “what?” she said. I guess the last ‘oh god help me out’ came out loud and she heard it. “nothing,” I said. We locked our eyes again. Our breaths’ got heavy. She closed her eyes and landed her lips on mine and was just pressing against mine. “Oh god, she doesn’t even know how to kiss. Okay. Let me show her” I kissed for the first time in my life. I could feel she had bottled up her desire too. I started smooching her softly, our tongues touched. I was just going on as I had seen kisses in movies. It was better than anything I had seen or imagined. Suddenly my phone started ringing. We both trembled, scared, detached our self and I just ran out. It was not a phone call, it was the morning 5 am alarm of my phone. I took few deep breathes, of course, needed after breathless kissing. I started running towards my room and rushed into my blanket. “oh shit! What did I just do? Did I kiss a married woman? This is so wrong!” I was blaming myself and feeling hopeless. Trying to console myself “it was all random. I was just helping her. Really? Whatever I did there, was that morally correct or wrong?” I was puzzled by my own thoughts. I’m going to stop here and request an honest reply from all the ladies who have read out till here. I badly want answers for my puzzled thoughts in my mind. E-mail me at: [email protected] And please do let me know if I should continue writing with the rest of the encounters.